Good Morning Michael,

I have called and tried to leave a couple of messages with you but your voicemail keeps cutting me off. We received an online application from you on October 14th but we do not know which apartment it is for. Your social security number also comes encrypted for your security so before I can process the screening for you I need both an apartment number and your social. Please feel free to call me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Lorri Alexander
Leasing Consultant

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Insert long distance phone call here (charges paid for by yours truly) where we discussed the ambiguity of said application and Lorri Alexander receives all pertinent information, including SS#s, Spanish ID#s, driver´s license #s, apartment #, etc.).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Michael,

 

I need to ask that we have a separate application for your wife because the screening company needs to have the information for both of you. You will just need to fill out and pay for her online application. I apologize for any inconvenience. I will then run your applications first thing in the morning.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Lorri Alexander

leasing Consultant

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Lorri,

I spoke to my Dad earlier and it looks like he´s going to feel more comfortable waiting in San Diego until his house is sold, so we´ll want to reserve the one bedroom apartment for now, not the two. I was prepared to send the check out today in order to do so, but I see from your message we need to file a second application(?). Maybe I should have called and gotten some better clarification before sending the first one; $45 is $45.

I´m extremely busy finishing the remodel of our house and wrapping up the rest of our lives here before we leave and didn´t really plan on having to take the time to fill out another application today, so I´ll see if Rita can send you her information when she comes home. However, I would like to note that all of the information required (*) on the ap. has been provided and if your service ran its check using Rita´s name (Rita ---- ------- ------) you have her SS# and her Spanish ID is ---------) it would be easily verifiable. I didn´t include her income at ---- as it wasn´t required, but only taking into consideration even her present Spanish salary (appx ----€/mo or $----+/mo) makes the requirement of 3 times the monthly rent. You have her US ID and and now her Spanish as well; we have owned our home here for over 3 years now and will continue to do so, and, as I stated on the present ap.,  the mortgage is held by -------. Anything you need to verify that, beyond that which the application requires, I am more than willing to provide.

It seems to me the application and it´s instructions are somewhat lacking (as you also stated) and I don´t really feel we should have to pay twice because of that. If there is something you are able to do to prevent this we would be appreciative.

Best Regards,

Michael

PS - If you should need it, my Spanish ID is ---------

PPS - I´ll hold off on filling out another ap. and sending the check until I hear back from you regarding this message.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Morning Michael,

 

I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you but it is required from our screening company that each adult individual living in the apartment must be screened separately. So even if you had filled both out at the same time you would have still been required to complete two applications which is $45 per person. We must adhere to the requirements from our screening company which is a completely separate entity, otherwise they kick it back to us. The other option is I could run your information individually but since you have no current income it may come back denied. If you have money in savings we could try listing that as "other income" but we can't list her employment on your application. I would be happy to try running your application first and see what happens. We would still at some point need to screen Rita's information which could be done even after you arrive in the states if you are approved on your own. Again I do apologize for giving you misinformation and please feel free to call me if I can clarify any thing further.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lorri Alexander

Leasing Consultant

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before I could respond...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Michael,

 

I wanted to let you know that I ran your application with the information you provided. I did not have an amount regarding your savings to add as additional income and your application did come back declined. I'm sure once we have Rita's application it will go through fine.  The apartment is currently not on hold and I would hate to see you lose the opportunity. Please let me know what I can do to help you with the process.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Lorri Alexander

Leasing Consultant

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Lorri,

I haven´t had the time to finish filling out an additional ap yet, and Rita often works typical scientist hours (8am to 11pm yesterday, for example) so we weren´t able to cooridinate our times and get to it, mostly because I was dead tired and in bed before she even got home. I´ve begun filling it out though, quite thoroughly this time, however, along with it´s other, um, shortcomings it is also not set up to accept pertinent information (such as a phone number) that is not U.S. based. I also had to choose a state initial that coresponds to our current address and our bank´s address, regardless of the fact that we don´t live in one and neither does the bank that holds our mortgage. So, I hope they´ll be able to divine that Valencia, Spain isn´t really located in Saskatchewan. And I hope none of these little technicalities will lead to the extraction of another 45 bucks from our bank account too.

I entered Rita´s California Driver´s license and SS# (as it is required by the scary red asterisks), but as I mentioned to you on the phone, I have no way of knowing if they will be seen as valid anymore. Her CDL is expired for sure, and since her new visa is pending it´s possible her SS isn´t valid right now either. I believe I gave you both of our spanish ID #s though, and as there is nowhere in the application for me to enter that info, I hope you´ll be able to pass it on to "the screeners."

Also, do I check "One Applicant" or "Co-Applicant," as Co-Applicant implies we are filling out the application together. But if that isn´t an option...

I´m still a little puzzled at why a single income family is required to fill out two separate applications. I think there are a lot of housewives that would be offended by that. As a matter of fact, on behalf of housewives everywhere, I´m a little offended by that. I have to admit, I did go back to your website(s), and I still haven´t located anywhere that states it as a requirement. As well, I mentioned to at least two other Parkridge employees (Jennifer and Jordan - I´m the nerdy guy that writes them down) by phone exactly what I was trying to do and was told I just had to fill out an (meaning 1) application online for $45 then reserve a place for $99. Never did anyone mention that it was $45 and a separate application for each person. I have to admit, I regret breezing through the application as quickly (quickly is a relative term here) as I did. If I realized it was the U.S. equivalent of obtaining a class DE drivers license in Spain (long, arduous and very expensive) I would have been sure to seek out clarification before submitting it at all.

Sorry about the gripe session, but I don´t feel very satisfied with this process so far; not your fault, I realize. If, when I submit the second application (notarized and in triplicate), we find that not only are we out $90 in application fees, plus the 99 to reserve a place, then that we are, due to some inept screening service, relegated to the "a) First and Last Month`s Rent; b) Qualified Roommate; c) Co-Signer Agreement (Cosigners must be approved unconditionally to qualify); .and/or d) Additional Security Deposit" loser catagory, I don´t think I´m gonna be a very happy camper. And with my class DE spanish drivers license I´m qualified to be one.

I would appreciate as much clarification on all of these matters as you can give me before I submit another online ap.

Thanks in advance,

Mike

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Michael,

 

Rita would fill out all her information as a co-applicant just as you did only she does not put any of your information on her application. I have a comment section where I am able write in the info about your current address being in Spain and the fact that she will be employed at OHSU.

I personally have not had any "housewives" offended by the fact that they had to provide separate information, in fact they appreciate being thought of as their own individual person, regardless of whether there is one income or not. The screening company also runs a criminal background check on each person and if you are only filling out one application then obviously we don't have all pertinent information required for each individual. If you decide to complete the same process that each and every one of our residents does when applying, the reservation deposit to hold the apartment for you is $99 and the fee for the application is $45 per person. If your father had decided to live with you he also would have been required to pay for an application screening at $45. All adults over the age of 18 living in the home are required to do so. You will then pay your first month's rent plus the $10 pet rent the day you move in. I'm not sure how much more information I can provide but I hope this explains it clearly for you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lorri Alexander

Leasing Consultant

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Lorri,

I´m really surprised that the original application I submitted was declined, as I´m sure you wrote in your comment section the information I provided you by phone before you ran it by the screeners. Specifically, when I told you it was all Rita´s information with my name entered into the "Personal Info" section box because the application instructions were so ambigious, as well as giving you her Social Security number over an unsecured line. Identity theft is no small thing. I once had mine stolen for over 12 years! And even this many years after the divorce...I´m obviously very uncomfortable with being thought of as an "individual person."

As for the criminal background checks, I also gave you our Spanish IDs to run. I wouldn´t hold your breath too long waiting for a response from Spain though. Try to imagine a genetic experiment involving the inbreeding of the Post Office, the DMV, and the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services gone horribly, horribly wrong. I do, however, still have a copy of the background check I had the San Diego Police dept. run just before we left for Spain four years ago. It was good enough to enter the European Union and obtain residence here; I can only assume it will be considered good enough to temporarily rent a Riverstone apartment unit while we do some house hunting in the area. I will happily send that to you and we can just call it even. I´ll even include this link to a GIF which you can use to amuse yourself, or even add to your website next to the "Apply Now" button.

I´m obviously assuming the "$10 pet rent" is included in the price you already quoted to me directly over the phone after discussing it the other day, and that you´re mentioning it for the first time now as something of a compensation for the inconvenience, from what you called "misinformation" in a previous email, your websites have caused by being remiss in stating anywhere there is a $45 per person application fee. However small it may be, I thank you for the sentiment. And thank you also for reserving the apartment for us while all of the discrepencies with your websites and screening agency are resolved.

Kindest regards,

Mike

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Morning Michael,

 

If you would still like to rent an apartment the only thing that is required at this point is a completed application from your wife. We can hold the apartment for you until midnight (our time) Wednesday October 27th at which time if we have not received her application we will be placing the apartment back on the market. If you would like further clarification on the screening process you may contact:

Renters Relations (877) 222-0384

 

Sincerely,

 

Lorri Alexander

Leasing Consultant

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Morning Lorri!

Of course I would still like to rent an apartment. I´ve been operating on the assumption that was what these emails were all about. Although, I´ve always thought it would be cool to have a Pen Pal. I think the closest thing to that I ever had to one was with a banker named Chafic I met while I was doing business at Wells Fargo some time back when I owned a coffee cart. He´s half Mexican, half Lebanese. I think his father is the one from Lebanon, and his mother from Mexico; Chihuahua, actually. Apparently a pretty decent mixture of genes. Either way, a really cool guy. His girlfriend (sorry, unavailable) is from Barcelona and when we told him we´d be living in Valencia he just got really excited and we´ve been buds ever since. One interesting thing about that relationship is, every time I get some kind of unexpected bank fee that shows up on my monthly statement, I know I can contact him and say, "Dude, what´s up with this unexpected bank fee?" and he´ll usually be all like, "Dude, they try to sneak shit like that in all the time. I´ll take care of it." And, just like that, it disappears. So, I´m thinking now that we´re kinda "pals" too, maybe you can try to watch my back and make sure none of those sneaky fees find their way back into this little transaction anymore .

Thanks,

Mike

PS - As you probably know, October 27th is Cranky Co-Workers day, and I´ve already booked a little getaway for the long weekend. So, I´m sure you´ll understand if I have to ask you to push that application deadline until sometime after the 31st. This holiday season seems to sneak up on me quicker every year. Thanks, Lorri. Happy Halloween!

PPS - If you´re not going to use the GIF I sent for your website, could you please send it back? I´d like to hang onto that one.